honesty time.

dear friends.

i’m so thankful for your support thus far.  to say that this was a big adjustment is an understatement…i got here on wednesday and felt like i got punched in the stomach.  it still makes me cry to think about how i felt on wednesday – i felt totally lost and confused.  i was ready to turn around and go home.  in an instant the excitement and confidence i had was gone – replaced by anxiety.  today, on day 2 of orientation, i still feel less than confident, but i’m settling in.  mostly i am feeling lost – like i don’t know where i fit…i’m with some wonderful students, just searching for my little corner…

i still cry fairly regularly and wrestle with feeling comfortable and secure that this is the right place for me.  i do not question that God brought me here, i know that without a doubt, but right now it’s hard to take comfort in that.  i guess if my passion is to know God and live authentically then i can be 100% confident that this uncomfortable situation is bringing me closer to him.  it sure is hard…but God is good.

i miss being so connected to you all, but we’ll get into the swing of things.  you are special to me and i am so grateful that you are supporting me.

much love.

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i’m ready.

friends.  i’m leaving on wednesday…i’m leaving with a full heart.

as i reflect upon this season of waiting, the time i’ve had to prepare for this new journey, i feel happy.  the 2 years that passed since graduation did not look like i thought they would.  they also were more full of joy and life than i ever could have imagined.  i’ve experienced real life – wonderful corporate worship at church, life-giving small group, opportunities to grow in service, and relationships that are energizing and empowering.

in april when i made the shift from YWAM Salem to YWAM Chico, i felt frustrated that i would be waiting three whole months longer that i was anticipating since YWAM Chico starts on aug 29 instead of june 4 like YWAM Salem.  let me tell you, these summer months have filled me up to serve from my overflow.  the support and encouraging words i’ve received from my friends and family make is easy to begin this adventure.  i’m sad to leave these relationships but each person is coming with me through their love and support.

so here’s to a season ending…a season of nannying, lake michigan, biggby coffee, late-nite applebees…and to a new season beginning…a season of learning, reflection, growth, service, friends.

my mailing address for the next 5 months:

Erin Alley (DTS Aug 2012)

Youth With A Mission

15850 Richardson Springs Rd.

Chico, CA 95973

i have so much love for each one of you.  thanks friends.