honesty time.

dear friends.

i’m so thankful for your support thus far.  to say that this was a big adjustment is an understatement…i got here on wednesday and felt like i got punched in the stomach.  it still makes me cry to think about how i felt on wednesday – i felt totally lost and confused.  i was ready to turn around and go home.  in an instant the excitement and confidence i had was gone – replaced by anxiety.  today, on day 2 of orientation, i still feel less than confident, but i’m settling in.  mostly i am feeling lost – like i don’t know where i fit…i’m with some wonderful students, just searching for my little corner…

i still cry fairly regularly and wrestle with feeling comfortable and secure that this is the right place for me.  i do not question that God brought me here, i know that without a doubt, but right now it’s hard to take comfort in that.  i guess if my passion is to know God and live authentically then i can be 100% confident that this uncomfortable situation is bringing me closer to him.  it sure is hard…but God is good.

i miss being so connected to you all, but we’ll get into the swing of things.  you are special to me and i am so grateful that you are supporting me.

much love.

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7 thoughts on “honesty time.

  1. Girl – you are loved, and you are being prayed for! It’s just that you’ve been taken out of your comfort zone – and God needs you there, so that you’ll seek His face for all things…and He can bend you, break you, for the many lost souls you will come into contact with! Rest in Him – and watch what He does with your 100% dependence on Him! Love you!

  2. Erin, it’s a rough place to be – praying for sweet peach and that you would feel Jesus’ arms tightly around you as you nestle in close to him. Keeping you in my prayers and thoughts. Love, Kathi

  3. I know this feeling well … feeling a little lost, wondering if you’re really where you’re supposed to be. I’m learning, though, that when we “control freaks” let go,that’s what it feels like at first. The free-fall is terrifying, but then … the parachute opens. I’m praying that your chute opens soon and you can enjoy the view on your way back to earth.

  4. so why did this make ME cry? Erin, just try to remember the full heart you left Michigan with. Those thoughts and memories, along with God’s love and peace, will help sustain you through this season.

  5. Erin – please know that what you are experiencing is VERY normal. You are in a foreign place with foreign people entering a life that was completely foreign to you a few days ago. You will adjust and this school that seems SO overwhelming will become reality. I remember crying during our first week as well. I swear to you, that by week 2 I was feeling a lot better and by week 3, it seemed completely normal. It’s hard to give up life as you knew it for a very structured life demanding schedule, but it will be SO WORTH IT. Keep your chin up. YOU CAN DO THIS. I’ll be praying!!!!

  6. I’ve been out of touch for the past week but just tonight was wondering how things were going for you, Erin. So grateful to read of answered prayers. I have had many times in my life where I’ve wondered “Did I just make the biggest mistake of my entire life?” Job changes, moves, career shifts, you name it. I know the power of prayer and community. Praying you will find that community soon. . .believing that God has you right where He wants you and you are going to experience something great and special in this new place. Love you! So proud of you for heeding the call and staying the course. ❤

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