greetings from sunny california! i am so thankful that the weather has remained warm and sunny – it does wonders for my mood 🙂
sorry i am behind on the blogging – life hit me hard the last 2 weeks…week 6 was lecture on spiritual warfare and our whole base knew it – we were all engaged in spiritual battles that week! i struggled with a very self-critical attitude – i realized that i was carrying around this sack…a sack that was full of what i wasn’t doing well, what i needed to learn, what i needed to do better. it was a heavy sack and i felt weary. i was believing all these lies from the enemy – i wasn’t doing a good job, i was letting God down, i wasn’t going to succeed, i might miss something and then mess this up…i just let these lies swirl around in my head and i was so tired. last week on friday, i set that sack down before the Lord and renounced the lies i was believing. but i kept looking at the sack, worrying about it, struggling to not pick it up again and i was overcome with anxiety. i was afraid to be alone with my thoughts – afraid that i would pick the sack back up.
this past week, week 7, our lecture was about hearing God’s voice. i realized that my stinking thinking was clogging the canals of my mind, keeping me from hearing God’s voice. i want God’s thoughts to be my thoughts and God’s heart to be my heart – so you better believe i am keeping my mind clear! God is unlocking new ministries and new desires in my heart and i am continually renewing my mind so i can hear His voice. i have the authority to grab the lies and throw them out of my mind – i can walk in freedom and never go back to that place of captivity. each morning i can put on the mind of Christ and speak His truth to others.
so friends, that’s where i am – God is good and faithful! less than 4 weeks til Guatemala and Belize – please keep my team in your prayers. i appreciate each one of you!
peace to you.
so friends, one year ago i was in haiti. what a trip that was – i had such a wonderful time there and learned so much. it really was an experience that changed the course of my year. i never would have imagined being here at YWAM Chico one year after being in haiti.
i don’t know what else to say. i felt very weary this week…tired from processing and tired of feeling inadequate and defeated. i’m done with that – i’m choosing to see who i am, what i’m good at, where my gifts are, and i’m going to enjoy the gift of this season God gave me. i don’t need to look ahead at what might be coming, i don’t need to anticipate how things might go and worry that i won’t be prepared after DTS. here’s the deal:
“His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature…” 2 Peter 1:3-4
i’m done carrying around the burden of what i’m not doing well enough and i’m walking in empowerment – i have all i need.
i am nearly half-way thru lecture phase of DTS and i cannot believe it! time seems to be going so fast – in about 108 days this season of life will be done…
when i first arrived in chico and considered why the Lord led me to DTS i looked at this as the next step towards finding a job, this was something to check off the list. God is revealing to me that this is so much more than that. my time here at DTS is about seeking God – letting him transform my heart and renew my mind.
i am learning so much about who God is and who i am. God is my father who loves me, and his love flows through me into others. friends – that’s what i want to be about. i want to know God’s love so deep inside me that it flows out of me. i want to bring truth and healing into people’s lives. my very first support letter mentioned Isaiah 61: “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the LORD has appointed me to bring good news to the poor, he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;” God is confirming that call on my life, and that is exciting!
psalm 34:4-5: “I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.” i also know that the Lord is changing my countenance and spirit. i want to be radiant and bright, not weighed down in shame and fear. it is such an encouragement to hear from friends on base that my eyes are bright and my face is glowing. that’s what it’s about friends…
i really do love my time here – this week i’m feeling a little weary…i feel like i’m always “on” here, like there is always something to learn or ponder or process and that is exhausting. i’m really praying that i find some ways to relax and feel restored while i’m here.
this week in lecture we learned about relationships – i love God by loving people. it was a good week of lecture – i feel better equipped to talk about love and relationships with people i minister to.
friends, i really love you and appreciate your support. so glad you are in my life.